Perfection and Beauty
by nessarys
Summary: He is perfect, in every way. But I can't have him. He is my math teacher, and soon 24 years old, and I am only 17. But that is not the biggest problem, on his beautiful, soft hand sits a golden ring. RoChu, Human AU, contains minor violence and abuse. Spin-off to Little Secret
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia**

**Warning: Mentions of violence and abuse**

He is perfect, in every way possible. The way his long, dark brown hair that is tied into a ponytail follows his movements, shines in the sunlight, and how it frames his beautiful and angelic face. How many times have I dreamed of how it would feel like to touch it, burry myself in it, inhaling the smell of Chinese cuisine, tea, and plum blossoms?

He has amber eyes that seem to see into your soul. They are always so soft, warm, and so full of emotions, as if he cares for every little thing that he sees, and that is probably true, too. I have never seen him ignore people that need help. My secret love is the most loving creature walking on earth, and I am sure that no one could rival his kindness.

I could go on forever, losing myself in the pictures in my head of his silken lips, slim waist, his adorable blush when someone points out that he still has some crumbs around his mouth after eating, usually Chinese pastries. But I know that I shouldn't think of him like that. There are two reasons for it.

Yao Wang is this school's math teacher, and he is soon to be 24 years old, and I am 17. But that is not the biggest problem. On his beautiful, soft hand (that always haunts my dreams, caressing my cheeks, as his sweet voice tells me that everything is going to be okay, and that he will protect me from all the horrible things in this world), sits a golden ring.

That ring ruins my entire life. Every time I think about him, that ring comes and reminds me that I can never have him, and that I should just stop. I need to stop thinking about him. I don't need any more pain in my life, but if I don't, then I would not be able to press on a fake smile for my sisters and for Yao. I would not be able to take care of Katyusha and Natalia. And who would if I am not there? No one.

But the pain of knowing that the one I love the most is married to a lovely Chinese woman that suits him perfectly is always there. Her name is Jia. Jia means beautiful in her mother tongue, and it is not surprising. Yao deserves someone that is just as perfect as she is.

When he talks about her, he has a warm smile, filled with love for that woman that I despise. Just because I hate her, does not mean that I can't see that she is way better for him than I will ever be. She can make him happy, I can't.

I am a poor student, with horrible parents, that mark me with bruises and swellings. The others in my class have stopped asking me about it, and it is probably because I scare them away, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I am huge, but my clothes make me even bigger. But the truth is that I am very skinny underneath the heavy tan coat. I have violet eyes that also add to my scary appearance.

Who wouldn't be scared of a big, tall, purple-eyed Russian that wears a scarf in the summer? Even Yao was a little scared at first, but then again, who wouldn't be?

My beautiful Yao does not need someone like me. The only thing I can do is to watch him from the sidelines and hope that he will have a wonderful life filled with happiness.

…

The classroom is full of students as usual. Mr. Beilschmidt talks and talks, but I don't listen. We are learning about American History, and I hate that subject. And Alfred's enthusiasm is more annoying than ever before. He jumps out of his seat and answers every question; even the teacher is starting to lose his patience.

The German teacher must have asked something, since Alfred has raised his hand and waves it so fast that I can't even see the hand, and Mr. Beilschmidt looks very irritated.

"Me, me, me, me, I can the answer, me, me, choose me, please." I can feel the headache coming.

"Mr. Braginski, answer the question."

Well, I did not see that one coming at all. I don't even know what the question is.

"I don't know." Alfred gasps loudly as I answer, and I already know what is going to happen.

"How can you not know, you commie bastard? American history is important, America is important, unlike your cold, communist home!"

"I don't like America, and I don't think it is important at all, damn capitalist pig." My evil aura appears, and I can feel that many of the students are sitting on the edge of the chair and casting glances at the door.

"You damn-"

"That is enough Mr. Jones, Mr. Braginski! I think that Yao will be pleased to see you two after school."

My heart jumps when I hear the familiar name of my love. Even if I end up getting in trouble at home, seeing him is worth it.

"But-"

"No buts. I would think that you are used to this by now. I think it is time to continue the class."

Mr. Beilschmidt takes up the history book, and starts reading out loud, and my mind has already drifted to a certain Chinese man that I would be seeing soon. I can't wait to see my little sunflower. But even in my thoughts about him, I can still feel Alfred's hateful stares and Arthur who is trying to calm him down.

I look to my left. There sits Raivis Galante and Eduard von Bock. Two boys that are so scared of me that they tremble all the time. There is one more, and he sits behind me. Toris Laurinaitis, my favourite of the trio. It really is a shame that his boyfriend is so annoying, and won't leave him alone. The Lithuanian is the closest I have ever come to a friend, and the sad thing is that he is, just like everyone else, is scared of me. It looks like no one will ever see me. The only thing they see is the big, scary Russian.

**So, tell me what you think about the story. And is this T or M? Please let me know, I don't want to do anything wrong. **

**-Nessa **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I am sooooo sorry that it took so long to publish this chapter, but I have been very busy with school, with both homework and tests, plus I have been on a school trip to Poland and Berlin. It was some travel for peace thing, so I got to see the concentration camps, such as Auschwitz, Birkenau and Sachsenhausen. But I should have published this chapter for a long time ago, so again: sorry **** Please forgive me.**

Alfred kept sending me hateful stars all day and I replied with a sadistic smile. Every time we are in the same room, I can see the students trying to get closer to the door that leads out of the classroom, and I can even feel the temperature drop, and it seems like that students notice it even more. Sadly for them, Alfred and I are almost always in the same room, since we have many of the same classes.

Even if I am going to see Yao today, I can't help but feel like punching that idiot in the face. I really hate him, and to be honest, I like to use every opportunity to irritate him, and he seems to think the same.

I am not good at school to say it nice. I have way too much to worry about than getting good grades. I have my sisters that I have to take care of, and I have a poorly paid part time job as a cashier at a little flower shop not so far away from my home in this boring neighbourhood. Someone has to make money, and my parents aren't exactly helping either.

Katyusha and Natalia are also helping me with getting money. Katy works at cloth store, and Natalia is a waitress.

My sisters are not doing well at school either, but at least Katy get help from her Turkish boyfriend, Sadiq. I don't like him. My sisters deserve the best of the best, and I am sure she could find some better guy than that show off.

I don't like his friends either. One of them sleeps way too much and the other one is…strange. He is stubborn and never talks, but his close friends say that he is very talkative. I would have liked it better if she would hang out more with Toris, Eduard and Raivis, as she used to.

Natalia is doing better on that side, but she is being a little too friendly with a certain American. It pisses me off. But luckily she prefers my little Baltic friends, Katy and me.

The last class ends and it is time for lunch. I don't have money to buy anything, and I don't have a lunch box either, but I have made sure that my sisters have food. Sadiq makes twice as much as he used to so that he can share with Katy, and Toris would not have tried to deny his former crush food. He knows that I am watching him closely.

Unlike everyone else, I prefer to sit out on the sun at a special spot that I have claimed as mine. It is a peaceful little spot underneath a tree with long braches that hides you from those who is working at one of the higher floors, but you can see them.

And one of those is Yao. That is what I do in the breaks. I watch him from distance, and it will never get boring. How he looks through papers in a hurry, preparing other classes and talking with someone in the room or on the phone. He does all this with a cup tea and sweets or pastries.

Creepy? Yeah, but I can't help it. I need him, even if it is just watching him work, or being scolded by him. I wonder if he understands how much every little minute of his presence warms my cold heart, makes my day a little more bearable, and the thought of him makes me get up of bed every morning, when I just want to sleep, and never wake up again.

The answer is no, and in a way I hope he will never find out. What would he think? I know that if I was married, and one of my students that everyone thinks is insane was in love with me, I would have quit and found myself another job. So I can't risk losing him.

As I make myself comfortable under the tree, I can see that he isn't there yet. Even if I can see well from here, I still can't see everything. In fact I can see almost nothing, but a certain corner of the room, and luckily for me that corner is where my sunflower decided to has as a work spot.

I lay my head against the hard surface of the tree, and close my eyes. The sun is warm against my face, and behind my eyelid I can see golden light. It feels like I am wrapped in a blanket. It is way to hot, but in a good, and protective way. It is in moments like this when I feel like my problems do not exist. Because I know that when I open my eyes I will see him, see his beautiful face, and for that moment my pain will be washed away, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Opening my eyes again, I see him. He sits in his red chair with a steaming cup of tea. My Chinese Beauty is writing something on his PC, probably preparing for a math class. He looks relaxed, and he has a little, but happy, smile on his angelic face. That smile warms me up even more than the sun, and I would have given everything to sit here for the rest of the day, but I know that I can't.

"так красиво" (so beautiful)

He has stopped writing, and he is leaning back in the chair. I envy that chair. It is pathetic, but true. I am sure that I would have been a good chair. Yao has closed his eyes, and it looks like he is sleeping. Poor thing, he must have been up late, or waked up early. If I decided then he would have been in bed now, with breakfast, and surrounded by pillows.

The wonderful pictures in my head makes it impossible not to smile. But I am quickly ripped away from my private scene as I see the principal pats him on the head and points at the clock (I think that it is a clock since everyone freaks out when someone points in that direction). Yao jumps out of his chair and shots his tea. He takes his papers and books, smiles at the principal, and runs out of sight. I sigh as I hear the bell ring, and I get up from the spot. Taking my bag and books with me, I head to the next class, and hoping that I don't run into Alfred on the way.

**Still, I hope you guys can forgive me, and big thanks to my beta **


	3. Chapter 3

On my way to Nature and Science class, I notice that a certain American is watching me. Sometimes I wonder how someone could be so stupid as him, and I always come to the same answer every time; no one.

Why is he stupid for spying on me? Well, there are many reasons, but I will stick to the two that are the most obvious, or at least for everyone but Alfred. One, I am the scary Russian; two, he is hiding behind a leaf.

I pretend that I don't see him, in hope that he will leave me alone, but knowing him, and my luck, he will keep on following me to the end of my life. That is not something that I look forward to.

It takes about three minutes to go from my favourite tree to the Nature and Science classroom, and after two minutes of very noticeable spying from Alfred, I lose all that are left of my patience for that stupid asshole. I stop, in the hallway where the classroom is. I can hear Alfred stopping loudly behind me.

"What do you want, svin'ya?" I can hear him gasp, and a leaf that falls to the ground.

"How did you know that I was here? Do you have super powers or something?" I am being overwhelmed by the urge to bang my head in the wall.

"Da, I have superpowers, so can you please leave me alone? Or do I have to beat you to death here and now? That is fun, isn't it?"

Alfred takes a step back, and points his finger at me.

"Oh my God, you just admitted it, commie bastard, and now you are going to kill me? You, you… Monster!"

"Maybe, maybe not. But you have nothing to say. You are just as bad as me."

"No, I am not! You are a disgusting, scary, psycho Russian monster! I am better than you!" I can hear the students run by, in order to avoid the fight they all know is coming. I can only wish to be one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love to fight with Alfred, but today I am not in the mood.

"You are right, but you are just a filthy mommy's boy, who knows nothing. Come back here when you see me as the one I really am, and not a monster."

I can feel the anger grow, and even if it doesn't look like it on the outside, I am really hurt by his words. First I thought that I would go numb after some time, and that I would stop caring about what they said to me, because I hear it on a daily basis, but sadly, that is not the truth.

It hurts every time; it is like someone stabs me in the chest over and over again. And every punch, every stab, everything they do to me goes unnoticed by those around me. They are all immune to my silent cries for help.

"That is impossible." He says calm. I frown. I haven't seen him like this in a long time.

"Why?"

"Because you are a monster."

The cruel words do more damage than a bullet, and the it makes me unable to move. Even if it is Alfred, it still hurts. Hearing it from other than myself makes it more real. Then I am not the only one that thinks so, that I am a monster, trapped in an ugly body that nobody wants.

I see that he gets ready to punch, and I tell my body to get away from the attack, but I am glued to the floor. Alfred is stupid, but he is strong. So I know that this is going to hurt.

I can feel his fist hit my jaw, and his punch sends me flying into a wall. My vision goes white as my head hits the hard surface, and all I can hear is Alfred who is panicking. He really thinks I am dead? I would have thought the same if I punched Alfred so hard that he did not get up right away.

My eyes are half open, but the blonde can't see that. He is walking in circles, mumbling things about prison and school. Suddenly he walks up to me, and shakes my shoulder.

"Hey! I totally meant to punch you, but, seriously, don't die on me. I could go to jail, man. Jail! Oh man, you are dead aren't you? Shit, shit, shit. Arthur is so going to kill me-"

I drag him down so that he faces me, and I send him a horrifying glare, topped with a evil, purple aura. He gulps, and with good reason.

"Dude, I am so sorry, but we are friends rig-" Before he can utter more words, my head has already slammed into his nose.

He screams, and his hands shoot up to his nose in order to stop the blood that is flowing everywhere. But it is not working. The blood comes through his fingers, and stains his bomber jacket.

I smile in triumph; I must have gotten the sadistic side from my father. I guess it runs in the family. Except Katyusha, but well, I am glad she did not end up like Natalia and me.

"Ivan Braginski! Alfred F. Jones! What is going on?"

Fuck. Even if it goes a hundred years I will still be able to recognise the stern voice of Legolas Beilschmidt everywhere. I turn around to face said man, Mr. Vargas and…Yao.

My heart falls to the ground, and I look down on my shoes, desperate to hide my face from sight. Why did he have to come now? Now he will hate me for sure, and I don't want that. I can't bear it if he finds me disgusting.

I can heat Alfred's voice in the background. He is probably trying to lay the blame on me. Again. I am way to busy with trying not to look at my secret love. I know that I can never seek comfort in his arms, so why give myself the luxury of looking at him, even if his looks bear nothing but disgust.

"That is enough, Jones. Both of you will get detention for a week. Understood?" Mr. Vargas says, and takes the German's hand, and drags him away. He has always been clingy.

"Mr. Wang, take care of Jones and Braginski." I hear the blonde shout to Yao.

"Are your nose okay, Jones?"

Yao's voice drifts to my ears, and my chest tightens when I hear the comforting voice of my beloved, and how the blonds name sounds from his silken lips. I guess everything he says will come out beautiful, but it is painful to hear him like this; talking softly to one of the persons I hate the most.

I put a hand against the wall for support, and I slowly get up. My head hurts, my vision is blurry and I feel like I am going to fall any second now. He hit me harder than I had expected, but I have taken worse, so this is nothing. I just wished that Yao would go.

"You are bleeding!" Yao gasp, and I have to roll my eyes. Everyone can see that Alfred is bleeding. I mean, there are blood on the walls, and all over his stupid face.

But then I feel a hand pressed against the back of my head. It is warm, and soft. It caresses the wound so gently that I am unsure if this is real. And it is now that I feel the hot liquid against my neck. Ah, I am bleeding.

I look down on Yao, and I get my suspicion confirmed. That gentle hand belongs to the Asian that I crave for. Yao's eyes are filled with worry, and he moves his hand up and down my neck.

"Hey…Mr. Wang… it hurts, I really need-" Alfred says quietly, but Yao gives him an angry glare.

"Jones, a broken nose is nothing you can't handle, but a head injury is worse. I recommend that you go to a doctor, and then I will take care of Braginski here, okay?"

Alfred shuts up, and I smile. Not a scary and sadistic smile, but a happy one. I can feel tears running down my face, but I couldn't care less.

The one I love touched me, told the one that caused me pain to shut up, he spoke my name in his soft voice, he looks at me with worry, and I get to be treated by him all alone. This is the best day of my life.

**Svin'ya – Pig (Russian)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have never replied to any of the guests that have reviewed so far, sooo even if it is a little late for some of them, I will reply now **

**Jawl: In the good or the bad way?**

**Yuu: Thanks, and I have been thinking about it, so it is a maybe.**

**Guest: It does not annoy me at all, thank you for telling me.**

**Kittycat: Thanks **

**Takahashi Nana: Thank you for pointing out **

"Braginski! Are you okay?

Yao sounds worried, and it is understandable. Who would have thought that Ivan Braginski could cry? I bet my life that everyone at this school is convinced that there are no connection between the Russian and tears, but I have never given them any reasons to. No one has seen me cry, except my family and Yao…wait a minu-

"Oh shit. Dude, are you crying? Ohhhh shi-!" And Alfed… Well, fuck. He is probably going to tell everybody about this. As if I need anything more to get bullied for.

"Didn't I just tell you to go to the hospital, Jones? And please don't say anything about this, okay?" The sentence may have been a question, but Yao's eye said the opposite. He really is an angel.

"Yes…" Alfred turns his back on us, and starts walking, mumbling something about Russians and Brits.

The math teacher's attention falls back on me, but instead of the hard look, he smiles a little smile at me that sends shivers down my spine.

"Let's get you fixed up." His hand, which has not moved from its place on my wounded neck, slides down to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, before he gives me a sign to follow him.

xxxxPABxxxx

"Does it hurt?" Yao asks as I winch at the contact of the cotton swab on the rather big wound that covers most of my neck and back head.

"It is okay."

"That is good, but promise me that you scream out if it hurts, okay? You have been looking very uncomfortable for a while now. "

"Ohh, okay."

To be honest I am uncomfortable, but I am not sure if it is in a good way, or bad way. For me this is very hard to decide. I have never been touched like this before, except from Katyusha and Natalia, but this is Yao, the one I love, not one of my sisters. For anyone this might be nothing special, after all, he is just cleaning my wound, but he is very, very close.

His hand, that is not busy with the wound, is tangled in my hair so that it is not in the way, but the hand keeps moving, and it feels amazing. If I did not know better, I would have thought that it was a massage. His chest lies on my upper back, and he is breathing down my neck. I am warm all over, and every move he makes, every breath he takes does not go unnoticed. It is hard not to just turn my head and kiss him senseless, but I will just have to bear with this sweet torture.

"So, tell me a little about yourself, Braginski. I have heard that you come here often, so I would like to know more about you. I am going to replace the nurse for the time being. She is on vacation with her husband, you see, so the principal has decided to let me do the job until she comes back."

"Ivan. I- Sorry, I just…"

"That's okay, I like first names better. So then you can call me Yao. Ivan is a beautiful name."

My heart jumps, and I can't fight down a blush, and luckily Yao is behind me, and does not see it. I can't help it. If I thought that my last name sounded good from his lips, then I should have known that hearing my first name in his cute Chinese accent would be a hundred times better.

I can feel the cotton make contact with an extra painful area on my neck, and I winch at the feeling.

"Sorry. Ivan, it would be easier if you removed the sweater too."

"No, I don't think that is a good idea."

Yao sighs, and moves around me. He stands in front of me, looking me up with suspicion and worry clearly showing in his warm, brown eyes. I ignore his stern glance, and I focus on the spot to the right of his head. I can't let him see all my scars.

"Ivan, it will make it less painful, and easier."

"It is okay, I don't think it is necessary."

He gives me a sceptical look, before he goes back to where he left off in the cleaning of the wound. I notice that he is treating it different now than before. It seems like he is trying to be even gentler than he was for a minute ago (if that is even possible). The hand that was holding my hair is now at my sweater, as if he is trying to touch more of my back.

Fuck. If he does not stop to caress me like that, I will attack him. Ivan, you can't think like that. It is not his fault that you are so sick. As if he hears my toughts ge pats my back.

"I am done now, but please come back next week, just so I can check the wound, okay?"

"Okay."

"And you can go home now. I will tell your teachers, so no need to worry. You should probably rest tomorrow too if it does not get better during the night." 

"Okay. Proshchaniye."

I can't help but think of how cute he is. Worrying like that over me. He really is the perfect.

"Zàijiàn. See you soon, Ivan."

**Proschchaniye – bye (Russian)**

**Zàijiàn - bye (Chinese, simplified) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the review, V **

**AN: Also, some of the reviews have pointed out that Jia means family, and Mei means beauty. So I have changed Jia to Mei (the first chapter included). Therefore, there will be two people named Mei in this story: Yao's wife, and Yao's sister (Taiwan).**

I leave the school, just as Yao said, but I am not going home. It is too risky since I am not supposed to be home yet, and I must have Natalia and Katyusha with me, or my mom would get really mad. Instead I head for the little flower shop that I work at, hoping that I can be able to make a little more money.

As I walk towards the shop, I take up my old phone and send a text to Nat and Katy.

**Privet **

**I got into a fight with svin'i so I got a nasty bruise. Yao sent me home, but I am going to work now.**

**-Ivan**

I put the phone back in the pocket of my big coat, and keep walking down the grey streets.

I have always hated this place. This town is boring and grey. It makes me wonder why someone would move here. I know that about half (if not more) the school wants to move away from here when they are old enough. I know that Alfred wants to move to Washington D.C, and Arthur longs for his precious London. If I have the chance, then I would have taken Natalia and Katyusha back to Moscow, where we used to live before mom found herself this stupid man that she decided to marry.

My phone rings, and I already know who it is.

**Dobre, Vanya. See you after work **

**-Katy**

**Dobra, vialiki brat**

**-Natalia**

I really love my sisters. They can be strange, like Natalia's little psycho side, and Katyusha's cowardly personality, but the truth is that they are maybe the two most loving girls in the whole world; they just show it in a… weird way.

That is not their fault, though. You can't be perfect when your parents are alcoholics, and generally awful, you are just doomed to be fucked up, one way or another. You could say that Katy is the luckiest of us three. She may be a little stupid, and a cry-baby, but at least she is not known for being a psychopath, like Nat and me.

I am too trapped in my little dream world to notice a small beauty that are walking right at me before she hits my chest, and falls to the hard, cold ground with a gasp. I pull myself together, and I fall to my knees, and help her collect the groceries that now lay all over the sidewalk.

"I am so sorry. I am so sorry"

I can feel the glares of the people around me, and it is no a good feeling. I can feel the disgust, and the fear that are clearly showing in their eyes.

"No, it is okay, I should have seen you, so really, don't look so sad."

The woman looks up at me and smiles a little, heart-warming smile. She must be Asian, and with my experience with Asians (Yao's siblings), I would bet she is Chinese.

She is wearing a red, thin jacket, and jeans. Her black, silky hair is tied up in a ponytail, and her big, brown eyes are staring at me. Her cheekbones are high, and her lips are perfectly formed with a layer of pink lipstick. The Asian woman is staring at me without blinking, and I am starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Ehh, miss…?" I try, and it looks like it catches her attention. She smiles a big smile, and gets up. She is way shorter than me, but somehow I feel like she is above me, and it would not surprise me if she is.

"I am sorry, you are just too cute." The Chinese woman says bluntly, and I am shocked. No one has ever said that to me. I feel my cheeks flare up, and I look down on the sidewalk.

"What?" I stutter, and she I just laughing. Is it that fun to watch me like this? I am sure there is other that are funnier to tease than me.

"Now you do it again, nánhái." I give up on answering her. No matter what I say or do, her reaction will be the same. It looks like she finally takes pity in me.

"I am a little lost. I am looking for flowers for my husband. I thought about roses. Do you know a good place?"

"I work at a shop around the corner. I can take you there, if you like."

Her eyes lights up, and she are practically glowing. She really is cute.

"That would be nice, but only if you don't have anything better to do. I hate taking up peoples time."

"I was heading there, so it is okay."

"Yay!"

She takes my hand, and tells me to lead her to the shop. I can't help but smile a little. I am really surprised that she is not scared of me, but it is a pleasant one. As we walk she is talking about the flowers she is going to buy.

"He isn't picky, so any flower would be fine with him, but I thought that roses would be nice. Ah! The colours have a meaning, right? What colour means "I love you"?"

"Red."

"Thank you, sweetie. How rude of me not to ask. What is your name?

"Ivan."

"What a nice name, Ivan. My name is Mei Wang."

I freeze. Wang… No way. That can't be. He has a little sister that are named Mei too, but I have seen her at school, so that means that this is her. The woman I hate for having what I can't have. She is the woman that I love for taking care of my beloved.

"Ivan?"

I am sure that there are other Asian's in this town that are named Mei Wang. It is a common name, right?

"Ivan!" Her voice cuts through my thoughts, and it is like waking up from a nightmare.

"Ivan, what is it? Are you okay?" I must make sure. I have to. Just because she shares the same name as Yao's wife, does not mean that she is _that woman._

"What is the name of your husband?" Please, please… Let it not be him, please…

"His name is Yao."

**Privet – Hi (Russian)**

**Svin'i – The pig (Russian)**

**Dobre – Okay (Ukrainian)**

**Dobra – Okay (Belarusian)**

**Vialiki brat – Big brother (Belarusian)**

**Nánhái – Boy (Chinses simplified)**


End file.
